Even if you’ve attended individual therapy, starting couples counseling can bring up feelings of anxiety. It might feel overwhelming to discuss your relationship issues with a professional counselor, and that’s completely normal.
Couples counseling and therapy can be a powerful tool for any relationship, helping to boost satisfaction, develop healthy communication skills, and build stronger partnerships. The numbers support this: Common types of couples therapy, such as emotion-focused therapy (EFT) and the Gottman method, have high success rates. According to the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, marriage counseling has a success rate of 98 percent.
Not every couple who attends therapy stays together, but preparing for counseling can help you and your partner make the most of your sessions. Here’s how to navigate couples therapy to build a happier, healthier relationship with your partner.
Take time to find the right fit
If you’re looking for a couples therapist, be prepared to invest time and effort into your search. Your therapeutic alliance—the relationship between you and your therapist—is crucial, and both partners should feel comfortable opening up during sessions.
Some couples may schedule initial consultations with multiple family therapists, clinical psychologists, and couples counselors before finding the right fit. If you feel comfortable, consider asking for recommendations from trusted family members, friends, or coworkers.
During your search, take into account your scheduling needs, personal preferences, and cultural background. Additionally, if you’re dealing with specific issues like substance abuse, resentment, or infidelity, try to find a couples counselor with experience in those areas.
Set goals before your first counseling session
Even the most skilled couples counselor can’t salvage every relationship. Sometimes, spouses enter couples therapy uncertain about whether they want to save their relationship. For couples counseling to be effective, both partners need to express a commitment to participating in therapy and improving the relationship.
To achieve the best outcomes, discuss your relationship goals together. Before your first counseling session, it’s helpful to identify one or two specific goals you want to focus on as a couple. These could involve learning to handle disagreements constructively or practicing empathy in your conversations. By doing this, you can communicate to your couples therapist what you hope to achieve from therapy and chart the most effective path forward.
Don’t wait until rock bottom to start counseling
Often, couples delay starting couples counseling for reasons like stigma, financial constraints, scheduling conflicts, or difficulty finding the right counselor. However, waiting until rock bottom isn’t necessary—and shouldn’t be the case—to benefit from professional mental health support.
According to Dr. John Gottman, a psychologist and couples therapist known for extensive research on intimate relationships, couples should consider behavioral couples therapy (BCT) when they exhibit four specific behaviors known as the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse”:
- Criticism
- Contempt
- Defensiveness
- Stonewalling
Even in healthy relationships, counseling can enhance communication skills, deepen understanding of each other, and establish future goals. It equips couples with valuable tools to navigate challenges and manage relationship distress effectively.
Compassionate Couples Counseling in Washington, DC
Communication issues, if left unchecked, can significantly impact any romantic relationship. It’s natural to experience intense emotions, negative thoughts, or even depression when facing relationship challenges—but you don’t have to face them alone. Online couples therapy aims to address the root causes of relationship problems, helping partners understand and resolve their issues.
To find the right couples counselor, consider reaching out to a therapist through The Therapy Group of DC. We understand that couples therapy can seem daunting, and we’re committed to guiding you through every step. Whether you’re navigating complex family dynamics, intimacy issues, or feelings of unhappiness, we’re here to help you address relationship distress with a tailored treatment plan that addresses your specific relationship concerns.
